New and Funny

If someone puts socks on your ears in the morning it's super hilarious. You will want them to repeat the hilarity fifty times.

Eli got his license recently. (thanks for sharing your ride Gabe!) But watch out, he only knows how to propel himself backwards.

And he apparently learned to say "cheese" upon seeing any sort of camera pointed in his direction. Courtesy of school. (he's really coming along with words. He's taking his time, but it's funny when he does bust one out. His first super clear word was "eyes.")

My Kid

People think it's crazy, but for the past year Eli has been asleep by 6:00 each night. He goes to bed super early because we wake up each morning at 5:30 to get ready for school. This week, Eli decided he'd rather go to bed at 7:00 or later, and sleep until 7:00. That would be great, except this Mama's work schedule didn't suddenly change.  I'm foreseeing a problem. Eli's logic seems to be flawed.

This Boy...

...talks in his sleep now. It's weird.

Today

Darling,

 

Happy Second Birthday, my sweet darling!  I cannot believe it’s been two years already.  Mama has been missing you ever so much these past months.  I think about you daily, and wonder about your life.  I wonder what your life would have been like here with us, and I wonder what your glorified life is like with your King in heaven.  I know he’s loving you with a  perfect love, beyond anything I could imagine.  I just can’t help imagine what it would have been like to have you here with us these past two years.  I think you would have been the best big sister for which anyone could ask.  I think about what your spirit would have been like and your demeanor.  Would you have been laidback or a spitfire?  Would you be seeking to do everything for yourself or still wanting help from Mama?  

 

The thing about you, love, is that you are such a bittersweet point in my life.  I miss you terribly and love you dearly.  I long for you to be here and so wish that things would have gone differently.  But we serve a God who always brings us beauty from ashes.  From our loss we were given the blessing of your brother. I’ve learned countless lessons, and been able to help other Mama’s suffering through their own losses. We’ve seen a beautiful garden grow from the barren ground of losing you.  At numerous points throughout the year these things bring me comfort.  Knowing that good has come from our pain and suffering.  Today I’m brokenhearted by the blessings.  I’m grieved at the thought that you had to leave in order for us to be blessed with your brother.  I’m disheartened that you’re going allowed me to learn and help.  I’d so much rather you be here.  I cannot reconcile the desire to have you here and the joy of your brother being here.  Auntie Mere said “It’s an impossible chasm to work through. And it just doesn’t make sense.” It doesn’t make sense, sweetheart.  Some days I see all the blessings and all the beauty, but today I long to see you.  Today I want it all.  I want you and your brother and every other babe that is mine.  I want my happy family, protected from pain and suffering and loss.  Today I’m selfish. Today I hurt. Today I want you here to celebrate the life you should have had.  Tomorrow I’ll celebrate the life you’re living now.  I’ll celebrate you glorying in our Lord.  But today I’m going to hold on to our dream a little tighter, and shed tears for all that you were meant to be.  

 

I love you precious one, I love you dearly.

Mama

Cornered

Eli was taking his doggie for a walk this morning, when suddenly the tables turned...

Budding Artist

This is how E spent part of the morning. Coloring. With, you guessed it, permanent marker.

New Tricks

Look at what Daddy taught me!

Hoping he doesn't have enough strength to work this alone....

Observations

Two things I've observed about motherhood

1. If you have a schedule for the day and your kid needs to nap at a specific time, he invariably will refuse to follow anything close to what you had intended.

2. My life sometimes feels like its constantly boiled down to mundane repetition. I pick up a million objects and put them away, wash diapers, fold laundry, and nothing ever gets permanently checked off my list.  I'll do the same things tomorrow and forever. 

Now to lay down my child (again) who was supposed to start his two hour nap over an hour ago....

  

Summer (almost)

I foresee our Summer dinners consisting of cheese sticks, fruit, and any other finger foods mister here will eat. Simply because I can't bring myself to drag him in crying and try to make him sit at the table. Who doesn't love a picnic, anyway?

Working Man

E has already spent more time helping his father in the garden than me. He loves dirt, and shovels, oh and giant pitchfork things. Eek! We definitely have a boy on our hands. We've even started eating dinner outside, it's the end of his tiny world when he has to come in to eat.  All we need is a little table (the alternative being that he drops his bowl in the grass and eats several handfuls of grassy dinner. Not that we've experienced that particular scenario....)

In case you didn't know

Eli is occasionally destructive. He decided peeling the fabric off our ottoman sounded like fun.

Shhhh....

I'm in that mode where I feel a huge urge to start doing things to get ready for this baby. Things like rearrange the furniture in Eli's room and our room to accommodate a new babe. I asked Steve late one night to move a few things. He (rationally) declined. So I convinced my mother to help me move everything (read: she made me stand there and reprimanded me when I tried to help). Steve's at class....he's going to be super excited (errr....confused, and possibly miffed) when he gets home. Eek! And haha! (also, I just realized two seconds ago there is no longer room for a bassinet in my room........hmmmm......).

Right Now

This (big) little man loves to...
tell us he's "this big!"
Say "uh oh," "whoa," and "wow" a million times a day.
Get everything right the first try, or his short fuse goes off in full frustrated mode.
Be outside alllllllllllll the time.
Try and put his shoes and coat on.
Stick his face in the water during bath.
Make gorilla noises.
And be all around lovable!

Maybe this attempt at blogging will stick too...