Mother's Day

Some of you know our story.  Some of you don't.  

Our family and friends know our good news by now, the fact that we're expecting a baby.  And we're overjoyed.  We're already trying to prepare for our little one.  Imagining him or her.  Daydreaming about what this little one will mean to our lives.  We're truly full of hope and the promise of good things to come.

But today we also remember.  We remember the little one we lost.  The little one who should have made their entrance into this world, on this day.  I've had the day in the back of mind, anticipating the arrival of the day we should have been setting out for the hospital.  The day we should have brought our first child into this world.   It took my brain an overly long time to make the connection between our baby being due on May 8th and Mother's Day.   Somehow the two together are harder than they would have been passing by themselves.  One of my dear friends and her husband had their own struggle with starting a family.  Her husband said "My wife is a mother already.  A mother without a child."  His words have resonated with me over the past months, finding a place in my heart and taking hold.  I have been a mother these many months, a mother missing a child.  And while I'm waiting to be made a mother again, to a healthy baby who will hopefully remain with us for years to come, I will always remember our first.  A baby who waits to welcome us home.  

 

The sadness of this day is certainly tempered with the joy of our growing child, but we still mourn and remember.